Brothers and sisters are the best thing in the world—and the worst thing in the world, and sometimes both at the same time!  Sibling rivalry has been a huge topic of conversation lately.  Perhaps because it’s summer and there is more time for them to “bond” or because parents have more time to notice the bickering. 

One of my teachers, who was an only child herself, asked what to do about her two daughters arguing and fighting; another mom said her children were fighting constantly and yet someone else said that her children didn’t have a kind word for each other.  How do you handle bickering and fighting among children without killing them? 

My sisters and I were recently on a trip and we discussed how we all got along so well, and we reminisced about how we didn’t fight much as children.  Now don’t get me wrong, we did have our spats and arguments, but they never lasted very long— our mother did not allow us to fight.  “Animals fight, children do not” was her answer to fighting.  If we argued we were sent to our rooms, and if we had friends over, they were sent home and we couldn’t play with anyone.  It taught us to work things out with each other, and as adult women we rarely argue.

Leisa, my sister-in-law; Carolyn,my friend, Janet & Judi, my sisters!

Once when we had first moved to Dallas and we were still living in a very small apartment, I was at my wits end with Jacob and Wes bickering, so I got a rope and tied their hands together until they could work together and get along.  When Wray walked in, he knew it had been a tough day—but I’ve got to say, the bickering stopped.  It was a lot easier when we moved into our house and they had their own rooms.  Fighting was never allowed, if they hit or kicked each other, they had to hug and kiss each other until I said they could stop.  My philosophy was that friends come and go but family is forever.

Josh, the oldest, Mindy, my daughter-in-love, me & Wray, Wes, the middle, Jacob, the youngest

Carolyn, who has 3 girls, said when her girls used to argue, she would make them go to their rooms and write a full sheet of paper on how nice or sweet attributes of the other sister.  Fighting was never allowed at her house either.

Helping siblings get along is one of the struggles of parenting.  It needs to be a priority because It helps children learn to resolve conflict and to practice forgiving, both of which will be great life skills in dealing with other people.  Positive communication skills begin at home.