What does sharing really mean?  To a young child it means taking the toy they are playing with and giving it to the kid who keeps eyeing it.  Sharing food means taking their perfectly good goldfish and giving them to that other kid who eats more than their fair share.  Is it any wonder that sharing is a bad concept in children’s minds?  We don’t really want to hand over our car to some other guy who keeps eyeing it, or “share” our dinner with a hungry person—adults don’t like the idea of sharing any better than children.

 So how do we help our children understand the concept of sharing— let’s call it taking turns!  “Taking turns” implies that you will get your “shared” toy back.  It is much easier for all of us to give up something that we are enjoying if we know that we will get to enjoy it again.   Sitting on the floor and helping two children take turns is the best way to help them learn.   Screaming for them to share is counterproductive.   You can also role play taking turns with them.  Because we are selfish by nature, taking turns is a hard concept (sometimes even for adults).   Toddlers and two year olds have the hardest time with this because they are still playing by themselves or in parallel play, but it’s never too early to start helping them.  Children learn through repetition so be patient, they will eventually get it.

If “taking turns” sounds like too much work, them let’s “share” your Snickers Bar.